Superstitious

Being well educated and over read doesn't mean I'm not superstitious. An example my mothers parents were very very good to me and four men. My sister jokes our grandmother is the reason we never made the 11 pm news or the front page of the daily news. My grandfather worked for the delayed late and weary aka Delaware Lackawanna and western rr poor man was half deaf and in NJ at that time he wasn't allowed to drive so we always took trains. I am what railroaders call a foamer if I see a train or better yet drive under one I consider it my grandparents bestowing good luck. I want to tell you about seeing 3 people at 3 different times on 3 different highways and they all died. One was on rte 17 met him when I taught at Hudson county community college he started the African American museum in Jersey City a great learned man I gave him a copy,of the Morris canal book and also 2 racist items mt non racist fathers told me were worth something a history of Belleville and a black china doll. The next was my daughter. Mike and I were coming back from the shore so was she we beeped and we all stopped at the next rest areas so we could buy her goodies of course she was murdered. Next was a guy who lived in my building he heartily disliked the same people I did was also as sarcastic as Ian we had great afternoons at the pool when I worked my split shifts for the telephone company when I was hospitalized a few years ago for a very bad uti I heard his voice he was in the room across the hall dying from mad cow would love to,know where he shopped prior to this we had seen him once on rte 80'and he had seen us yes he too died . I also think there's a lot to be said for dreams I always had vivid ones. Before my father got sick I dreamed he had uremic poisoning but I wound up with kidney disease. The night I was notified Morgan was murdered earlier in the day I had had my first physical therapy appointment it was opposite Hackensack hospital from the window I could see all the ambulances entering she hadn't called me all day since she returned from vacation the night before we only spoke briefly and I was feeling very very sick it was as if I know. It's odd how things affect you. My mother was the type that if you told her you hands headache she would say you gave her one by saying it so you can understand how my thinking has a warp if I dreamed of a number my fathers would run out and play it. My thinking is disconcerting as I love science read a lot is science based books articles periodicals but I can't stop thinking about the cosmic conscious the things like the rhizome theory and so on